"Faith-Called out of Darkness"

A short story I wrote, I suppose you could call it semi autobiographical.

Faith (Called out of Darkness)

When I was young I was told there was someone named God. I was told He loved me by my father and mother, and that was all that I needed to know in life. I grew up learning about God, knowing He was there, and that He loved me greatly.

When I was a little older I was told about Jesus, that He was God's Son, who also loved me, and was born from a pure woman named Mary. I learned the Our Father and Hail Mary. I prayed them every night with my dad before going to sleep.

On my first day of school I saw children crying and others terrified. I was not scared, I knew God was with me. I was considered weird.

As time moved on life began to be different, things started calling me. One day I saw something yellow, I liked it, I stepped away a little just to look at it. Life continued to happen, and people thought it was weird I liked that yellow thing. I started walking away from people.

One year, God called someone with all my heart to Him, she accepted God's invitation and died. Leaving her son, my father in pain, I saw the pain.

I started middleschool, things started to get dark, I ignored God and the yellow thing and started listening to voices I started hearing. Every day I was slowly consumed. A year later, I was trespassed against, and I was taught to sin. Darkness continued to engulf. Another year later, I didn't know if God was real.

I started highschool, I discovered I was something different from other people. I was told to go to church, I was told that I would go to hell for existing. I stepped farther away from God. I didn't tell anyone what I was, and a thought came to my mind.

'…you don't deserve to live…'

Was what the thought told me; in my sophomore year of highschool I went on confirmation retreat, I fell in love and felt happiness. A week later I wanted the world to end. I still didn't know if God was real. A few weeks later I rebounded to someone. He was kind and said to let out all of my problems. I kept them hidden. He was forced to move away, but I was given his AIM account. His name means young king, I had fallen in love with this king, and asked God if He really did exist to allow me to love this king.

The next year the voice grew louder, the desire to die grew stronger. I tried my best to continue living. I would see pictures saying God loves me, but I couldn't feel it. I saw a picture of Jesus one day, I spoke 'if You do exist, and if You do love me, do something to fix this, or I'm ready to end everything.' Later that night I thought 'If God is taking bets, I hope he wants to lose'. One day I was invited to visit the young king, I then told him about my desire to die, how I had been told I was evil, how I had been forced to do evil by someone else. He smiled and told me I was loved, and kissed me.

When I got home, it started to rain, I knew then that God was real. I was still in darkness, but willing to get out. One afternoon I heard a voice of a girl, a girl who screamed at the darkness. I was also given letters from a man named Lewis who taught me more about God. Together both Lewis and the girl who could scream were breaking away the pieces of darkness, giving me determination to escape. Before I could fully break free I was given a warning by the girl who screamed. She told me the story of a girl named Cassie, and said that if I were to continue down this path I had the risk of dying for loving God. I escaped, I told God I would never leave Him again without fear. I had said Yes to God, it was after than I could feel Him all around me.

I graduated from highschool, during the summer the king told me he loved me.

The following fall I started college, something scary happened and tried to keep me away from God. The girls voice and Lewis' words couldn't keep it away, I ran, I ran to God begging for forgiveness and protection, I was shown a place I could run to, to be safe from the evil that wanted me away from God. I could not feel God, but I trusted Him, and knew He was real. I then realized that this evil wanted the king, the lesser king to God that I loved. I then spoke softly, but with burning piety that I would not let that evil win.

It was hard to get through what was laid before me, but I prayed to God, asking for any help available, God showed me more voices of people who could keep darkness away, we collaborated, and I grew closer to God.

The following summer and fall I had grown victorious over darkness, I was able to let my story of wanting to die out to the world, but the victory did not last long. The young king that I loved so much betrayed me, I cried, instead of getting angry at God I grabbed a weapon, and I prayed. After I was done I grabbed a pen, and a cd of the first person I heard scream at darkness, and I let God take over. I allowed my emotions to come out in a positive way on paper, I screamed 'I'm done healing'.

Today the summer ends, life continues, the young king has been forgiven moments after the betrayal. I have sworn that I belong to the King of kings, Jesus. Recently I was told that things would not be easier, and that God's plan for me is far from being complete. I smiled and said the words of the girl who screams at God, her name is Lacy, she screams for God to take her hand, I scream the same words today.